Call to Action
I know whatever I write here won’t represent all my thoughts and emotions; this is part of what makes me feel powerless. I feel powerless in knowing my audience, although comprised of people I know and love dearly, is limited. But I also know that if I say nothing I am stripping myself of any power I have at all. Any power to impact the world. Any power to effect change. Any power to give to others. My reach may not be vast but it is important. It is important because YOU are important. WE are important. What we say matters. But what we say only matters if we actually say it. That is why I am writing today.
When the news hit I felt trapped. I felt like I had no outlet for the compassion, for the anger, for the frustration, for the fear, for the sympathy, for the love, and for the whole slough of other emotions that I’m not even sure I could name. It took a couple days to hit me. Initially I was numb to it—just another fucking day of life in America. When will it stop?
It will stop when systems change—when systems change our society changes and when society changes our culture changes. The concepts of systems, society, and culture seem really intangible but the thread that ties them all together is people. Systems change when THE PEOPLE in the system change. Society changes when THE PEOPLE in society change. And culture changes when PEOPLE change. And those people are US. You and me. Our families. Our friends and coworkers. Our bank-tellers and doctors and mail-carriers and all the people we pass on our morning commute.
It is easy to blame the aggressor. But the truth is that he (and sometimes she, but let's be honest, what no one talks about is that crime, and especially violent crime, is not a black problem or a poor problem or a Latino problem or an ISIS problem; it's a male problem—a patriarchy problem) is a product of our systems, society, and culture. It is much more difficult to believe that we are just as much a part of the problem as we are the solution. People will only change when we realize we all have the power to change the systems and cultures. I am often crippled by feeling like there is so much to say and so much to do that I do nothing; it’s too overwhelming and I feel like what I have to say is not important. I have finally realized that we can’t all have the large platforms that politicians, celebrity figures, and professional activists have but we can all tap into our own power to speak out. To do SOMETHING. ANYTHING. And if we all did small somethings or anythings within our small audiences it would add up to one big push toward change.
This blog is a call to action, my friends.
It doesn’t have to be a complicated action or a political action or an action that reaches a lot of people. I am pissed off that we are still hoping and praying that things will change. I understand that effective change is a long process, but the Columbine shooting was in 1999. That’s over TWO DECADES ago… SIX presidential terms and TWELVE different presidents of the NRA.
And while we’re at it, that’s the same year I first learned about the concept of “consensual” sex (and only 17 years later - aka a few years ago - I had the realization that there is no such thing as “consensual” sex… It’s either “sex” or it’s “rape” … WTFuckingF about Brock Turner!?!! The ultimate privilege is to be convicted of attempting to rape someone, only get sentenced to 6 months in a county jail, and then have all the negative press about you completely disappear from social and TV media because someone else decided to commit the largest mass-shooting in recent history just weeks after your sentence. Do not forget about this.)
Whether it is homicide or rape, homophobia or xenophobia, sexism, racism, or classism… As soon as it seems like we make progress with one thing, another one pops up and overshadows it. The bottom line is, all of it has roots in violence and hate, and ultimately the notion of privilege and patriarchy. We have to speak out, not only against hate but also in support of love. We have to take care of ourselves and one another.
This is one of the main reasons I started in the fitness industry. A lot of people roll their eyes at rhetoric about love and community but the truth is that fitter, healthier people are more likely to be happy, productive community members that spread joy to others. When you are unhealthy you don’t eat well, sleep well, or feel well which makes you stressed out and have a short fuse. Usually these people want everything to be easy because they don’t have the patience to deal with anything that might get in their way; they tend to blame others for all sorts of things. We want to spread joy! But muscles don’t do that on their own.
I am writing this blog because privilege has given me the opportunity to reach a small community of awesome people (you!) who I think have the power to influence more small communities of people within your own larger communities. Utilize your areas of privilege to create positive changes. Are you literate? Read about others’ experiences and write about your own. Are you heterosexual? Speak out when you hear derogatory remarks against the LGBTQ+ community. Your silence normalizes the hate. Are you a heterosexual man? For the love of all that is good in the world do not cat-call women, make sexually aggressive comments to another man about a woman, touch a woman anywhere without her permission, blame women for getting assaulted, or worse yet, assault a woman. Do you have children? Teach them, regardless of their sex, what respect and equality look like and sound like. It’s cool that girls can play with “boy” toys now but you will truly help change culture when you teach your boys to play with “girl” toys. In fact, can we just throw out all gender descriptors and just use adjectives to describe our children for who they are? Do you spend money? You vote with your dollars so spend in accordance with your values. Are you Christian? Be humble. Your religion does not make you better than anyone else nor does it grant you the right to commit acts of hate and violence in the name of your religion. Do not lump whole groups of people in the same category of terrorists, just as you would not want to be associated with the KKK. Are you thin, white, attractive, male, and/or do you fit the standards within the construct of our heteronormative society? You have it easier than others do. Don’t argue; you do. Treat everyone well.
The list goes on… Are you educated? Are you white? Do you have a job? Are you middle to upper class? Can you drive? Are you not too young but not too old, either? Are you free from mental or physical disability or debilitating disease? Are you an American citizen? Do you speak English?...
Explore your areas of privilege to see what the haves and have-nots are within each. Then decide how you can use your privilege to change systems. This blog is one of my actions. Thank you to this wonderful community for lending your ears (eyes?) and then standing up and saying something, sharing your stories, listening to others’, and taking a step forward to initiate change.
